:01:24
Hey, can I get another drink
down here?
:01:27
WILLIE :
I've been to prison once.
:01:29
I've been married twice.
:01:32
I was once drafted by
Lyndon Johnson and had to Iive
:01:34
in shit-ass Mexico for two
and a haIf years for no reason .
:01:39
I've had my eye socket
punched in , a kidney taken out,
:01:42
and I got a bone chip in my
ankIe that's never gonna heaI .
:01:47
I've seen some pretty shitty
situations in my Iife.
:01:50
But nothing has ever sucked
more ass than this.
:01:54
If I'd known I was gonna have to
put up with screaming brats
:01:57
pissing on my Iap for 30 days
out of the year,
:01:59
I wouId have kiIIed myseIf
a Iong time ago.
:02:05
Come to think of it,
I stiII might.
:02:10
Where I come from ,
we didn't ceIebrate Christmas.
:02:12
Not because we were Jewish ,
but because my dad
:02:15
was a worthIess-coward fucking
asshoIe whose idea of a present
:02:18
was a daiIy punch
to the back of the head .
:02:20
He did teach me
how to crack a safe, though .
:02:24
My dad never did shit with his
Iife, so he took it out on me.
:02:28
You couId say I'm no different.
I'd have to say you were right.
:02:31
But at this point,
it's too Iate to start over.
:02:34
Funny how things work out.
:02:36
It's fucking hiIarious.
:02:44
[ Vomits, coughs ]
:02:59
There's Santa CIaus.
Look there.