Mrs. VanDort
It's a beautiful day.

Mr. VanDort
It's a rather nice day.

Mrs. VanDort
A day for a glorious wedding.

Mr. VanDort
A rehearsal, my dear, to be perfectly clear.

Mrs. VanDort
A rehearsal for a glorious wedding.

Mr. VanDort
Assuming nothing happens that we don't really know,

Mrs. VanDort
That nothing unexpected interferes with the show.

Mr. And Mrs. VanDort
And that's why everything, every last little thing,
every single tiny microscopic little thing must go...

Mrs. VanDort
According to plan,

Mr. VanDort
Our son will be married.

Mrs. VanDort
According to plan,

Mr. VanDort
Our family carried,

Mr. And Mrs. VanDort
We'll go right into to the heights of society...

Mrs. VanDort
To the costume balls,

Mr. VanDort
In the hallowed halls.

Mrs. VanDort
Rubbing elbows with the finest.

Mr. VanDort
Having crumpets with her highness.

Mr. And Mrs. VanDort
We'll be there, we'll be seen, having tea with the queen.
We'll forget everything...that we've ever ever been.

Mrs. Everglot
It's a terrible day

Mr. Everglot
Now don't be that way

Mrs. Everglot
It's a terrible day for a wedding.

Mr. Everglot
It's a sad, sad state of affairs we're in,

Mrs. Everglot
That has led to this ominous wedding.

Mr. Everglot
How could our family have come to this?

Mr. and Mrs. Everglot
To marry off our daughter to the noveaux-rich.

Mrs. Everglot
They're so common,

Mr. Everglot
So coarse.

Mrs. Everglot
Oh, it couldn't be worse!

Mr. Everglot
It couldn't be worse? I'm afraid I disagree.
It could be land-rich bankrupt aristocracy,
without a penny to their name...just like you...and me.

Mrs. Everglot
Oh, dear.

Mr. and Mrs. Everglot
And that's why everything, every last little thing,
every single tiny microscopic little thing must go...

Mrs. Everglot
According to plan,

Mr. Everglot
Our daughter will wed.

Mrs. Everglot
According to plan,

Mr. Everglot
Our family lead,

Mr. and Mrs. Everglot
From the depths of deepest poverty,

Mrs. Everglot
To the noble realm,

Mr. Everglot
Of our ancestors.

Mr. and Mrs. Everglot
And who'd have guessed in a million years that our daughter, with the face

Mr. Everglot
of an otter in disgrace,

Mr. and Mrs. Everglot
Would provide our ticket to our rightful place?

Emily (speaking)
What if Victor and I don't...like each other?

Mrs. Everglot (speaking)
Do you suppose your father and I like each other?
Emily (speaking)
Surely you must...a little...

Mr. and Mrs. Everglot (speaking)
Of course not!

Mrs. Everglot (speaking)
Get those corsets laced properly...I can hear you speak without gasping.
Marriage is a partnership. A little tit-for-tat.
You'd think a lifetime watching us (singing) might have taught her that.
Might have taught her that.

Mr. Everglot
Everything must be perfect

Mrs. Everglot
Everything must be perfect

Mr. Everglot
Everything must be perfect

Mr. and Mrs. Everglot
Everything must be perfect, perfect,

The VanDorts and the Everglots
That's why everything, every last little thing,
every single tiny microscopic little thing must go...According to plan!

[Thanks to spike_girl60@yahoo.com for lyrics]