:14:05
Two guys alone in the afternoon
watching Doctor Zhivago,
:14:08
-There's something gravely wrong here,
-lt's all there, man,
:14:11
The yearning, the suffering,
a woman you'll pursue,,,
:14:14
,,,through blizzards, across continents,
:14:16
A love so real,
even after you're dead it still hurts,
:14:19
-That's all l want,
-You need to get out,
:14:22
-You do, You need to see real people,
-You wanna watch it again?
:14:25
No, l want to go out, Come on,
l previewed some lnternet ads for us,
:14:28
lnternet ads? Come on,
l want Zhivago's lnternet ad:
:14:32
''Tragic doctor/poet
in desperate pain seeks,,,
:14:35
,,,like-minded playmate
for long snowshoe across Eurasia,''
:14:40
What do you bet he gets
a hundred responses?
:14:42
We'll start with bisexual
Asian women who fly-fish,
:14:45
-No lnternet ads,
-This is for you, l hate to fly-fish,
:14:48
-No, you don't,
-What about Sherry?
:14:49
-l gave you her number, You never called,
-Sherry?
:14:52
Sherry's 24, Her range of interest
extends from kickboxing to Tae Bo,
:14:56
She slept with half the guys
in my office,
:14:59
Then why do you want
to set me up with her?
:15:01
She slept with half the guys
in my office,
:15:04
She's in her early 20s, You know
the epic narrative l talked about?
:15:08
Hers would not only be secret,
it would be incoherent,
:15:11
l wouldn't get past the cover page,
:15:14
l mean, l'm looking
for something more than Sherry,
:15:17
''Hopelessly romantic,
young 50s widower,,,
:15:20
,,,seeks lady friend who enjoys
the slow bloom of affection,
:15:24
Loves dogs, children
and long, meandering bike rides,
:15:28
l will be carrying
a single yellow rose,''
:15:31
-l gotta meet this guy,
-Where are your boob shirts?
:15:34
-My what?
-Your boob shirts,
:15:36
-Don't worry, l brought some of mine,
-Oh, boob shirts,
:15:40
-l can't wear that,
-Okay, l have some dating tips for you,
:15:44
l got them from Sports Illustrated,
Solid gold,
:15:46
Yes, that's always been my bible
for personal relationships,
:15:50
At least listen to the tips,
:15:52
-Your sister has gone to a lot of trouble,
-Okay,
:15:55
''One, maintain eye contact,
:15:58
But be sure it isn't too intense,
You aren't a hawk eyeing its prey,''