MAUREEN
Every single day, I walk down the street
I hear people say, "Baby's so sweet"
Ever since puberty, everybody stares at me,
Boys - girls, I can't help it baby
So be kind, and don't lose your mind
Just remember that I'm your baby
Take me for what I am
Who I was meant to be
And if you give a damn
Take me baby or leave me
Take me baby or leave me
A tiger in a cage can never see the sun
This diva needs her stage,
Baby - let's have fun!
You are the one I choose
Folks would kill to fill your shoes
You love the limelight too, now baby
So be mine but don't waste my time
Cryin' - "O' Honeybear - are you still my my my baby?"

JOANNE
Don't. You. Dare.

MAUREEN
Take me for what I am
Who I was meant to be
And if you give a damn
Take me baby or leave me
No way - can I be what I'm not
But hey - don't you want your girl hot!
Don't fight - don't lose your head
'Cause every night - who's in your bed?
Who, who's in your bed, baby?
Kiss, Pookie.

JOANNE
It won't work.
I look before I leap
I love margins and discipline
I make lists in my sleep
Baby what's my sin?
Never quit - I follow through
I hate mess - but I love you
What to do with my impromptu baby
So be wise 'cause this girl satisfies
You've got a prize, but don't compromise
You're one lucky baby
Take me for what I am

MAUREEN
A control freak

JOANNE
Who I was meant to be

MAUREEN
A snob - yet over-attentive

JOANNE
And if you give a damn

MAUREEN
A lovable, droll geek

JOANNE
Take me baby or leave me

MAUREEN
And anal retentive

BOTH
That's it!

JOANNE
The straw that breaks my back

BOTH
I quit

JOANNE
Unless you take it back

BOTH
Women

MAUREEN
What is it about them?

BOTH
Can't live with them or without them!
Take me for what I am
Who I was meant to be
And if you give a damn
Take me baby or leave me
Take me baby
Or leave me
Guess I'm leavin'
I'm GONE!