:34:00
but not just his mom,
his play mom...
:34:02
but I'm proud to be his pastor.
:34:05
My dad, he was my idol...
:34:07
'cause I never saw
a man do so much...
:34:10
and make so much
of the day like he did.
:34:13
I saw him
as a father figure...
:34:15
and a role model
at the same time.
:34:17
He was my friend, also.
:34:20
I see, like, lights
flashing in the back.
:34:23
Then my mom comes,
and she's telling me...
:34:25
she's like, "I'm gonna tell you
your dad committed suicide."
:34:27
You know...
:34:28
shot hisself in the head
in the backyard.
:34:31
You know, came home,
we found him like this.
:34:34
He was the only child
that kept it...
:34:37
kind of quietly inside of him.
:34:39
I felt as if...
:34:41
I was his only child
that didn't cry...
:34:44
you know, at the funeral
like everybody else did.
:34:47
I didn't, you know,
rant and rave.
:34:49
So for a long time,
I thought, you know,
:34:51
does that mean
I loved him any less?
:34:53
And I realized
it doesn't mean that.
:34:55
It's just that everybody
mourns in a different way.
:34:58
I've been in a lot
of family situations.
:35:00
I've been shot
by a family member.
:35:02
My grandfather
shot me in my arm.
:35:06
Right here.
:35:09
Went in through this way
and came out through here.
:35:12
I was trying to protect
my mom 'cause he was drunk.
:35:16
And I was looking at my body,
looking at my baby's body...
:35:20
and I seen blood.
:35:21
We didn't know where
the blood was coming from.
:35:23
Chance was standing
on the right side of me.
:35:26
I don't know how...
how the bullet hit me...
:35:29
and the gun was pointed directly
to my little brother's back.
:35:32
She was holding
my little brother.
:35:33
It must have been God,
'cause turned the bullet...
:35:36
from when it hit the middle,
it must have turned the bullet.
:35:38
It ricocheted off
of something...
:35:40
and went straight
through my arm.
:35:42
If the bullet
hadn't have turned...
:35:44
the bullet would have hit
my little baby.
:35:48
It would have tore him up.
:35:50
But it turned, and it got him
right in this arm...
:35:53
and it went in, and it went out.
:35:55
I had to go to a crackhouse...
:35:57
to get my mama
out of the crackhouse.