The 40 Year Old Virgin
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:06:04
[Garbled]
Fuck you.

:06:06
[Clears throat]
:06:07
This is a great TV.
Nothing beats a plasma.

:06:10
What are you doing?
That's my customer.

:06:11
It certainly is not.
When I came upon her,
she was unattended.

:06:14
No, that's my...
Wait.

:06:16
Go to the checkout there.
Pick up there, please.

:06:18
She was unattended
because I went to the back...

:06:20
to get the brochure
that she requested.

:06:22
I apologize,
but it's too late.

:06:24
The transaction
has been completed.

:06:25
Then you're gonna give me
half the commission.

:06:27
You'll receive
none of the commission.

:06:29
I need to talk to Paula.
This is crazy.

:06:30
This is bullshit.
:06:31
Every time I make a sale,
you go crying to Paula.

:06:33
How about Jesse Jackson?
Old Jesse needs a cause.

:06:37
Sick of you poaching
my customers.

:06:38
I'm sick of your
crybaby bullshit.

:06:40
You wanna take this
shit outside? Just take it
outside and squash it?

:06:43
Let's stay inside,
so everybody can see
what a pussy you have, okay?

:06:46
Because when I remove
the blade I keep in my boot
from its sheath...

:06:50
I can't return it
until it has spilled blood.

:06:53
Look, listen to me.
You are fucking
with the wrong nigger.

:06:56
Hey! You're fucking with
the wrong sun-nigger, okay?

:07:00
Dude, I will hang your old ass
by your turban.

:07:03
Turban now? Do you see
any fucking turban here?

:07:06
Do I talk like a turban guy?
:07:07
Do I say, "Hey, Jay,
do you want a Slurpee?
You want a Slurpee?"

:07:10
Fuck you, okay?
I was born in Brooklyn.

:07:14
Brooklyn, okay?
:07:15
My accent is a fucking
Brooklyn accent, okay? Okay?

:07:19
All right, man.
Calm down, dude.

:07:20
Look, you still covering
my shift on Friday or what?

:07:22
If I can keep this commission,
with pleasure.

:07:25
Cool, then. All right, pop.
No problem.

:07:31
How about Andy?
No.

:07:33
Come on, man.
We need, what,
five guys...

:07:35
to play a decent
poker game, right?
Yeah.

:07:36
If we cancel this,
I'm gonna have to go...

:07:38
to some stupid-ass
birthday party with Jill...

:07:40
and that shit
ain't happening.

:07:41
No.
(David)
Why not?

:07:43
He's a really nice guy and all
but I'm pretty sure that...

:07:47
he is a serial murderer.
:07:48
Who cares, man?
He's a nice guy.

:07:50
I just wanna get drunk,
fucked up,
and play some cards.

:07:52
That's great.
Look, I don't wanna
end up a lampshade...

:07:55
in some creepy apartment,
that's what I'm saying.

:07:57
I don't really see
any other options.

:07:59
Andy. My man.

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