The 40 Year Old Virgin
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:18:01
It's okay.
(Haziz)
Paula!

:18:03
It's all right. Come on.
You know, it's just...

:18:06
So, how could this
not have happened?

:18:08
It just never happened.
:18:10
When I was young, I tried,
and it didn't happen.

:18:14
And then I got older and I got
more and more nervous...

:18:18
because it hadn't
happened yet.
And I got kind of...

:18:22
weirded out about it.
Then it really
didn't happen...

:18:25
and then, I don't know,
I just kind of stopped trying.

:18:29
Do you want to give it
another shot?

:18:31
Maybe it's too late.
:18:34
Sometimes I feel that
it is just too late for me.

:18:37
No, that's crazy.
:18:39
You're 40 years old.
You know, 40 is the new 20.

:18:42
You wanna spend
the next 60 years
of your life...

:18:44
never experiencing sex?
:18:46
And not just sex, but love...
:18:48
and a relationship,
and laughing and cuddling
and all that shit.

:18:53
I don't know.
:18:56
I wouldn't know what to do.
Look, you gotta take a risk.

:18:59
You gotta risk it.
Look at me.

:19:01
I went out with this girl
for four months...

:19:03
and it was the greatest...
:19:05
greatest thing in my life.
:19:08
Until she went down on this
guy in an Escalade, I think.

:19:13
And, you know,
instead of saying:

:19:14
"Okay, what am I doing
that caused this behavior?"...

:19:17
I dumped her. Stupid decision.
:19:19
I spent the last two years
of my life regretting it.

:19:22
Why don't you
get her back right now?

:19:24
Because she's dating
this pot dealer.

:19:26
Stupid horrible decision.
:19:28
But, hey, that's her journey,
you know.
I gotta respect that.

:19:31
I gotta give her the space.
:19:33
She wants to be
some immature little bitch
and blow everybody...

:19:37
that's love, man.
It sounds horrible.

:19:39
Of course it's horrible.
It's suffering...

:19:41
and it's pain and it's...
You know, you lose weight...

:19:43
and then you
put back on weight...

:19:45
and then you call them
a bunch of times...

:19:47
and you try and email
and then they move
or they change their email...

:19:51
but that's just love.
:19:53
Do you realize that
this is the first time...

:19:55
we've spoken for more than,
like, 30 seconds?

:19:57
Uh-huh.
:19:58
It's kind of nice.
Come out with us this weekend.


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