:18:24
l've been thinking, Elisabet. l don't
think you should remain at the hospital.
:18:30
l think it's harmful.
As you don't want to go home -
:18:34
- you and Sister Alma can move out
to my summer place by the sea. Hmm?
:18:40
Don't you think l understand?
The hopeless dream of being.
:18:46
Not seeming, but being.
:18:50
Consious at every moment. Vigilant.
:18:55
At the same time the chasm between
what you are to others and to yourself.
:19:00
The feeling of vertigo and the constant
desire to at last be exposed.
:19:07
To be seen through, cut down,
perhaps even annihilated.
:19:14
Every tone of voice a lie, every gesture
a falsehood, every smile a grimace.
:19:21
Commit suicide? Oh, no.
:19:25
That's ugly. You don't do that.
:19:29
But you can be immobile, you can
fall silent. Then at least you don't lie.
:19:35
You can close yourself in,
shut yourself off.
:19:38
Then you don't have to play roles,
show any faces or make false gestures.
:19:43
You think...
:19:46
But you see, reality is bloody-minded.
Your hideout isn't watertight.
:19:51
Life seeps in everything.
:19:58
You're forced to react.