:19:00
The feeling of vertigo and the constant
desire to at last be exposed.
:19:07
To be seen through, cut down,
perhaps even annihilated.
:19:14
Every tone of voice a lie, every gesture
a falsehood, every smile a grimace.
:19:21
Commit suicide? Oh, no.
:19:25
That's ugly. You don't do that.
:19:29
But you can be immobile, you can
fall silent. Then at least you don't lie.
:19:35
You can close yourself in,
shut yourself off.
:19:38
Then you don't have to play roles,
show any faces or make false gestures.
:19:43
You think...
:19:46
But you see, reality is bloody-minded.
Your hideout isn't watertight.
:19:51
Life seeps in everything.
:19:58
You're forced to react.
:20:01
No one asks if it's real or unreal,
if you're true or false.
:20:07
lt's only in the theatre the question
carries weight. Hardly even there.
:20:13
l understand you, Elisabet. l understand
you're keeping silent, you're immobile.
:20:18
That you've placed this lack of will
into a fantastic system.
:20:23
l understand and admire you.
:20:27
l think you should maintain this role
until it's played out.
:20:31
Until it's no longer interesting.
Then you can leave it.
:20:35
Just as you bit by bit
leave all your other roles.
:20:44
rs Mogler and Sister Alma moved out
to the doctor's house in late summer,
:20:50
The sojourn near the sea
had a favourable effect on the actress,
:20:54
The apathy that had crippled her
in hospital yields to long walks -
:20:59
- fishing trips, cooking,
letter writing and other diversions,