The Odd Couple
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:33:00
I'm nothing without
my wife and kids.

:33:02
You don't...
I'm nothing!

:33:03
You're not nothing.
You're something.

:33:05
You're a person.
:33:07
You're flesh and blood and bones
and hair and nails and ears.

:33:10
You're not a fish.
You're not a buffalo.

:33:12
You're you.
:33:13
You walk and talk
and cry and complain

:33:15
and eat
little green pills

:33:17
and send
suicide telegrams.

:33:18
No one else does that,
Felix, no one.

:33:20
You're the only one
of its kind in the world.

:33:24
You've stained me.
:33:26
Chocolate ice cream stains.
That's a stain.

:33:29
Ice cream
doesn't stain.

:33:31
Oh, vanilla and coffee
don't stain.

:33:33
Chocolate does.
That's a stain.

:33:36
Felix, leave that alone.
You'll get a water stain.

:33:40
That won't come out.
:33:41
That's
a permanent stain.

:33:42
You ready
to order now?

:33:44
Oh, hi!
:33:45
Hey, there's
my little pussycat.

:33:47
Come over here,
darling.

:33:48
For a tip, I'll leave
my apartment key.

:33:50
Is it informal,
or can I bring my husband?

:33:53
Never mind. I can't
wait that long.

:33:55
How about five quick minutes
behind the cash register?

:33:57
Aah! Ha ha ha!
:33:59
If you bite,
I can't write.

:34:00
What will you have?
:34:02
A cup of hot tea
for me, please.

:34:04
Cup of hot tea for
Diamond Jim Brady.

:34:06
You going to
eat anything?

:34:09
Let's see. I just
had an ice cream.

:34:12
Give me a corned beef
on rye, all fat,

:34:16
and a high-calorie
cream soda.

:34:18
Isn't she cuu-cute?
:34:21
Ha ha ha!
:34:22
Ha ha ha!
:34:24
Ha ha!
If you don't try,

:34:26
how are you
going to find out?

:34:28
Exactly. It's very easy
for you and me, Oscar.

:34:30
We're men.
We're out in the world.

:34:32
We can meet new people.
What about Frances?

:34:34
Divorce is much
harder on the woman.

:34:36
She's alone with the kids,
stuck in the house.

:34:38
How is she going to
meet somebody now,

:34:40
at her age,
with two kids?

:34:42
I don't know.
:34:43
Maybe someone
will come to the door.

:34:46
Can we stop
talking about Frances?

:34:47
Would you like me
to just forget her?

:34:49
How do you wipe out 12 years
of marriage just like that?

:34:52
You don't.
Face the facts, Felix.

:34:54
You can't spend
your life crying.

:34:56
It annoys people
at movies.

:34:58
Brrr!
:34:59
What's the matter?

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