1:09:00
...because she's sure I'm going to
go to hell and there's nothing I can do...
1:09:03
...to tell her that there is,
that it just does not exist for me.
1:09:09
So l, there's no communication
on, on those levels.
1:09:12
My father was asking whether I was in a
communist training camp or something...
1:09:16
...in, in the house that I lived in.
1:09:19
I could understand, you know, where
he came from. Because when he...
1:09:23
...well, he's an immigrant, you know.
1:09:24
And so he came over here
to better himself...
1:09:25
...economically and so forth,
and all that other rot.
1:09:29
And, to make it better for me and he can't
understand why I didn't play, you know...
1:09:33
...saying, "Why aren't
you playing the game?"
1:09:36
"Here's all this opportunity.
Here's, here are all these things...
1:09:38
...which have so much value."
1:09:40
But they only have value to him...
1:09:42
...and he can't understand
why they don't have value to me.
1:09:44
But he does have wisdom enough
to know, to allow me to be who I am.
1:09:51
I guess he had some kind of
idea in his head that...
1:09:54
...I will, by doing what I'm doing,
learn for myself how to live.
1:09:58
And that's what he wants me to do,
anyway.
1:10:00
So he, he can't understand
why I am the way I am...
1:10:02
...but he, he very much wants
me to be that way.
1:10:05
Because he knows that's
the only thing for me.
1:10:07
He started his trip when
he was four years old.
1:10:10
Really?
1:10:11
Nothing to do with drugs or anything?
1:10:14
Me, neither.
1:10:16
Do you think that's a cop-out or...?
1:10:18
l, I don't know. L, I used
to be into drugs and...
1:10:24
...I was very heavy on drugs, but...
1:10:26
...now it seems like
it's almost contrived.
1:10:29
It's like drugs and revolution
and the united front and all.
1:10:35
You know, I'm a human being and that's
all I want to be. And I don't...
1:10:39
...I don't want to have a mass change...
1:10:41
...because a mass change only brings
around mass insanity.
1:10:45
I just want to be myself and find
out, find a place where I can...
1:10:51
...maintain some kind of
balance within myself, you know.
1:10:55
I'm kind of like the Hamlet trip,
you know. To be or not to be.
1:10:58
Do you think you could ever communicate
with a guy like Nixon or Westmoreland?