:48:01
I thought there was really
something wrong with me.
:48:04
You know, every time
I went to the bathroom...
:48:06
I would sort of, you know,
:48:08
- Check and see if l
Yeah, if I got my period yet.
- And go look.
:48:11
And, suddenly l
:48:14
O- Oh, I was wearing
I was wearing these...
:48:17
dumb little white lace panties...
:48:19
you know, that my grandmother
had given me for my birthday or some
:48:22
And, um...
:48:25
suddenly I felt this...
:48:28
wet, warm feeling
in my crotch, you know.
:48:32
And then l
:48:35
I felt sort of excited, you know.
:48:39
But then I felt afraid.
:48:42
I was afraid. I was afraid...
:48:44
that I was going to get
blood all over the... chair...
:48:49
all over my pants.
:48:52
Then the bell rang,
and then the class got up...
:48:56
and then I saw Karen, you know.
:48:58
And I smiled, and I winked
at her, and I went like that.
:49:02
And she came over, and she said,
"What are you smiling about?"
:49:05
And I said, "I think I got it."
And she said, "Oh, thank God!"
:49:14
I don't really know why
I'm telling you all this.
:49:18
- I mean, it doesn't really
- Well.
:49:22
Those are very scary moments,
and you think a lot about that
when you're a kid. It's natural.
:49:28
- And what's happening now?
- Everything seems very different.
:49:31
I'm I'm not able to...
:49:34
know what's gonna happen.
:49:36
You know, before I had a sense that...
:49:39
- life would go on, and
- Yes.
:49:42
- Now, it's like every day is like, "Whew!"
- Yeah.
:49:45
What's gonna happen?
And I don't know how to control it.
:49:47
- And I don't know
- Yeah.
:49:49
I don't know
I don't know what to do.
:49:52
Your whole life has been
disrupted, discombobulated.
:49:57
And... it's a new life right now.