1:10:04
Sometimes, when
I lie awake at night
1:10:08
I wonder whether
I've lived at all.
1:10:13
Is it the same for everybody?
1:10:17
Or do some people have a greater
talent for living than others.
1:10:22
Or do some people never live
1:10:27
but just exist?
1:10:33
Then I'm seized by fear.
1:10:40
I'm seized by fear and see
a horrible picture of myself.
1:10:44
I have never grown up.
1:10:46
My face and my body have aged.
1:10:52
I acquire memories and experiences,
1:10:55
but inside all that
I haven't even been born.
1:11:03
I can't remember any faces
1:11:07
not even my own.
1:11:11
Sometimes, I try to recall
my mother's face
1:11:16
but I can't see her. I know she was
big and dark and had blue eyes,
1:11:23
a large nose and full lips.
1:11:28
But I can't fit the various bits together.
1:11:35
I can't see her. In the same way,
1:11:37
I can't see your face
or Helena's or Leonardo's.
1:11:42
I remember giving birth
To you and your sister but
1:11:45
all I know of the deliveries
is that they hurt.
1:11:52
But the pain?
What was that like?
1:11:58
I don't remember.