:16:01
Bloody Romans!
Now look, Brian.
:16:04
If it wasn't for him,
we wouldn't have all this.
:16:06
And don't you forget it.
We don't owe the Romans anything, Mum.
:16:10
Well, that's not entirely true.
What do you mean?
:16:13
Well, you know you were
asking me about your
My nose?
:16:17
Yes. Well, there's a reason
it's like it is, Brian.
:16:20
What is it?
:16:22
Well, I suppose I should've
told you a long time ago
:16:25
What?
Well, Brian...
:16:28
your father
isn't Mr. Cohen.
:16:31
Well, I never thought he was.
None of your cheek!
:16:34
He was a Roman, Brian.
:16:37
He was a centurion
in the Roman army.
:16:40
You mean you were raped?
Well, at first, yes.
:16:44
Who was it?
Naughtius Maximus, his name was.
:16:47
Promised me
the known world, he did.
:16:50
I was to be taken to Rome,
housed by the Forum
:16:53
slaves, asses' milk,
:16:55
as much gold as I could eat.
:16:57
Then he, having his way
with me, he had
:17:00
Vroom, like a rat out of an aqueduct!
The bastard!
:17:03
Yeah, so next time you go on
about the bloody Romans,
:17:06
don't forget
you're one of 'em!
:17:08
I'm not a Roman, Mum!
And I never will be!
:17:11
I'm a kike, a Yid,
a hebe, a hooknose!
:17:14
I'm kosher, Mum! I'm a Red Sea
pedestrian, and proud of it!
:17:22
Sex, sex, sex. That's all
they think about, huh?
:17:26
Well, how are you,
then, officer?
:17:45
Ladies and gentlemen,
the next contest...
:17:49
is between...
:17:51
Frank Goliath,
the Macedonian babycrusher,
:17:55
and Boris Mineburg.