:53:00
Oh, I see! Smoke too much so I'd better
cut down a little then!
:53:05
Yes. Ooh, it's going to get people
making jokes about your name all the time, eh?
:53:10
No, actually, it never struck me
before. Smoketoomuch...
:53:18
Anyway, ehm, you're interested in one
of our holidays, are you?
:53:21
Yes, that's right. I saw your advert
in the blassified ads.
:53:25
The what?
:53:25
In The Times Blassified Ads.
:53:27
Ah, The Times Classified Ads.
:53:30
Yes, that's right. I'm afraid I have a speech
impediment. I can't pronounce the letter B.
:53:35
Uh, C.
:53:36
Yes, that's right, B. It's all due to a trauma
I suffered when I was a sbhoolboy.
:53:42
I was attacked by a Siamese bat.
:53:44
Uh, ah, a Siamese cat.
:53:46
No, a Siamese bat. They're more dangerous.
:53:51
Well, listen...can you say the letter K?
:53:54
Oh, yes. Khaki, kettle, Kipling,
Khomeini, Kellogg's Born Flakes.
:54:00
Well, why don't you say the letter K
instead of the letter C?
:54:05
Well, you mean, pronounce "blassified"
with a K?
:54:09
Yes, absolutely!
:54:11
Klassified!
:54:13
Good!
:54:14
Oh, it's very good! I never thought of
that before. What a silly bunt.
:54:22
Now then, uhm, about the holiday...
:54:24
Yes, well, I've been on package tours many times
before, so your advert really baught my eye.
:54:29
Good, good, jolly good, well,
let me offer you this...
:54:30
Why-why, what's the point of going abroad,
if your just going to be treated like a sheep?
:54:33
Carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty
mindless oaves from Kettering and Boventry.
:54:37
Absolutely.
:54:38
Their bloth baps and their bardigans and their
transistor radios, bomplaining about the tea:
:54:42
"Oh, they don't make it properly, do they?"
And stopping at endless Majorcan bodegas
:54:46
selling fish and chips and
Watney's Red Barrel and
:54:47
calamaries and two veg. And sitting in their
cotton sun frocks, squirting Timothy Whites
:54:52
sun cream all over their puffy, raw, swollen,
purulent flesh, 'cos they overdid it on the first day.
:54:57
Yes, I know just what you mean!
Now, what we offer is...
:54:58
And being herded into endless
Hotel Miramars and Bellevueses,