:30:11
I am the very model
of a modern major general
:30:14
I've information
vegetable, animal, and mineral
:30:16
I know the kings of England
I quote the fights historical
:30:19
From Marathon to Waterloo
In order categorical
:30:21
I'm very well acquainted
with matters mathematical
:30:23
I understand equations
both simple and quadratical
:30:25
About binomial theorem
I am teeming with a lot of news
:30:30
With many cheerful facts
about the square of the hypotenuse
:30:34
Darling, this is my big number.
Now play along with this.
:30:39
Our lives may depend on it.
:30:42
I am very good
at integral and differential calculus
:30:45
I know the scientific names
of beings animalculous
:30:47
In short, in matters
vegetable, animal, and mineral
:30:50
I am the very model
of a modern major general
:30:58
Verse two.
:30:59
I comprehend contemporary
culture North American
:31:01
I straighten more piratical erections
than Bo Derek can
:31:04
I'm into EST and all the rest
I've undergone analysis
:31:06
I've jogged beyond decrepitude
to permanent paralysis
:31:09
My muse is into music
With my credit I won't trouble you
:31:11
From R&B to S&M, cross over C&W
:31:13
To grooving with the Doobies
in my Malibu white-souling tones
:31:18
Man, I'm older than the Beatles
but I'm younger than the Rolling Stones
:31:30
My military knowledge
for I'm plucky and adventury
:31:33
Embraces MASH and Star Wars
and the 22nd century
:31:36
Yes, sir, in matters
vegetable, animal, and mineral
:31:38
I am the very model
of a modern major general
:31:54
Now that I've introduced myself...
:31:56
I'd like some idea
of what's going on in my garden!