:39:01
¤ [Up-tempo]
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[Man On P.A.] Welcome to
the O'Leary Funeral Home,
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where many of the nation's top comedians
have gathered to roast our guest ofhonor,
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the late Harvey Pitnik!
:39:18
Please welcome...
Rip Taylor!
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¤ [Singing Gibberish]
[Applause]
:39:26
- Slappy White!
- [No Audible Dialogue]
:39:31
Jackie Vernon!
:39:36
Henny Youngman!
[No Audible Dialogue]
:39:40
Charlie Callas!
:39:46
And our roast master...
Mr. Steve Allen!
:39:50
[People Gasping]
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¤ [Crescendos, Stops]
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And here he is,
our man of the hour...
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¤ [Drum Roll]
Mr. Harvey Pitnik!
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[Sobbing] There's Harvey!
¤ ["Funeral March"]
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¤ [Jokey Segue, Stops]
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Thank you, ladies and mourners.
[Hammy Laughter]
:40:15
That's all right, Harvey.
Don't get up.
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[Laughter Continues]
[Loud Sob]
:40:20
Anyway, be that as it may...
and I doubt if it was...
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tonight we are here to pay tribute
to a close, personal friend,
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Harvey Pupik... I'm sorry.
Uh, Pitnik. Harvey Pitnik.
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Harvey was a man, my friends,
who was the same in life...
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as he is in death... a stiff!
[Mourners Laughing]
:40:39
But all seriousness aside, we are
going to lay two things to rest...
:40:43
Harvey Pitnik and the rumor
that Charlie Callas is funny.
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[Laughter] Ladies and gentlemen,
a very funny man, Charlie Callas.
:40:52
¤ [Jazzy]
[Applause]
:40:54
Thank you.
Thank you.
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¤ [Ends] Thank you.
Harvey, keep it down!
:40:59
[Nonsense Noises]
[Laughter]