Ernest Goes to Camp
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:30:01
As your counselor,
:30:03
I will be taking you
deep into the forest

:30:06
in search of actual nature.
:30:10
We'll be traveling fast,
:30:13
moving light, keeping our ears
to the grindstone.

:30:17
So stay together,
be remindful of the weather,

:30:21
and, for Heaven's sakes,
:30:22
don't pick it,
or it will never heal.

:30:28
This guy looks like
a walking army-surplus store.

:30:31
The Salvation Army.
:30:33
I feel like the blind
are leading the stupid.

:30:36
What a loser.
:30:42
Hey, Rambo,
where are we goin'?

:30:44
Maybe he knows
a shortcut.

:30:47
Maybe we're lost.
:30:48
What is this,
"Wild Kingdom"?

:30:51
Ernest: Yeah, boys, isn't it
great to get off the beaten path,

:30:54
get out where nature
really lives?

:30:58
None of that theme-park stuff
here, know what I mean?

:31:00
Come on, Ernest.
You're gonna get us lost.

:31:03
Well, we were lost
for weeks in Nam.

:31:06
I was under fire,
my body riddled with shrapnel,

:31:11
malaria, mono...
:31:14
wet socks.
:31:16
So... how do we get out
of here?

:31:19
Yeah, we were... we were
rough, tough, and hard to bluff.

:31:23
Men of iron,
:31:24
men who had never
tasted quiche.

:31:26
Really?
:31:28
Well, you couldn't even
get quiche in nam.

:31:30
Gosh, Ernest, I guess
you've done about everything.

:31:34
Some men try,
and some men die.

:31:37
Hey.

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