:40:00
How do you recognize an island? Do you
go, exc... Hey, wait. No, don't tell me.
:40:03
Wait, wait. Didn't we meet last year
at the Feinman bar mitzvah?
:40:06
You look a lot like Hawaii.
Didn't we meet last year
at the Peninsula Club? No.
:40:10
Pope Paul VI
celebrated a mass in Italian.
Whoa! Call me crazy! He's in Rome.
:40:14
You know, one day I want to meet him,
kiss his ring, and have it go, whrrr!
:40:17
The Mississippi River broke through
a protective dike today.
:40:19
What is... What is a protective dike?
Is that a large woman standing by
the river going, "Don't go near there"?
:40:23
"But Betty..." "Don't go near there.
Get away from the river.
Stay away from there."
:40:27
I know we can't use the word "dyke." You
can't even say "lesbian." It's women in
comfortable shoes. Thank you very much.
:40:31
Now here's the weather. We're gonna
go right to Roosevelt E. Roosevelt.
Roosevelt, how's it going?
:40:35
"Adrian, I'm with somebody. Don't even
come here and bother me right now."
:40:37
- Well, thanks, Roosevelt.
Can't you give us a little weather?
- "Not now, man.
:40:39
I'm on the balcony,
I'm trying to score. Back off."
:40:41
Well, what's the weather like?
"You got a window? Open it."
:40:44
Thank you, Roosevelt. We'll have to
go to someone else for the weather.
:40:46
I guess we'll have to go all the way
to Washington Weather Central
to Walter Cronkite.
Walter, what's the weather like?
:40:50
"I just want to begin by saying
to Roosevelt E. Roosevelt...
:40:54
'What it is, what it shall be,
what it was.'
:40:57
Weather out there today
is hot and shitty...
:40:59
with continued hot and shitty
in the afternoon.
:41:02
Tomorrow a chance of continued
crappy with a pissy weather
front coming down from the north.
:41:06
Basically, it's hotter than
a snake's ass in a wagon round-up. "
:41:10
Okay, we're gonna hit some songs
at you right now. Comin' your way!
:41:15
What the hell was that?
Crappy weather, shitty weather?
:41:18
- Comedy, sir.
- Comedy? No, no. This is not comedy.
:41:21
- Comedy is fun, it's antics,
hysterical-type things.
- Hysterical-type things?
:41:25
- Airman Cronauer
requesting you to elaborate, sir.
- Antics, damn it.
:41:27
Comedy of errors, like
the Keystone Cops falling down.
General wackiness like that.
:41:32
Falling down, that's a sight gag.
How would anyone see you
fall down on the radio, sir?
:41:34
- No, no, no, no.
Not literally falling down.
- Definitely wouldn't work
on the radio, sir.
:41:38
- See, sir?
- What I mean is in the spirit
of the Keystone Cops.
:41:43
- Sir, it wouldn't work, I don't think.
- I don't think anybody would
see you fall through a radio, sir.
:41:47
- I-I-I-I... If a field radio...
- What are you doing here?
:41:50
- Well, I thought I'd come
and help smooth things out...
- Don't help and don't smooth.
:41:53
And you... You are not funny,
but you are a maniac...
:41:57
and you'd better start
changing your life.