:36:00
What? You want me to put it back?
:36:02
It was a dark and rainy night.
:36:04
And this old lady,
who had a passion for jigsaw puzzles...
:36:07
sat by herself in her house at her table
to complete the new jigsaw puzzle.
:36:11
As she pieced the puzzle together...
:36:14
she realized to her astonishment...
:36:16
that the image that was formed
was her very own room...
:36:20
and the figure in the centre of the
puzzle as she completed it was herself.
:36:24
And with trembling hands,
she placed the last four pieces...
:36:29
and stared in horror at the face
of a demented madman at the window.
:36:35
The last thing that this old lady ever
heard was the sound of breaking glass.
:36:39
- No shit.
- Yes. This is true. This is true.
:36:42
I've got one that's even
better than that. I do.
:36:46
There's a young married couple
and they're driving through the forest
at night from a long trip.
:36:50
And they run out of gas,
and there's a madman on the loose.
:36:52
- Oh, that thing with the hand?
- This is the madman on the roof?
:36:54
- I love that story.
- I told you that one.
:36:57
- You did not. I got that in,
uh, camp in sixth grade.
- Yeah. Were you six last year?
:37:00
"In a mean abode in the Shankill Road
lived a man named William Bloat.
:37:04
Now he had a wife,
the plague of his life...
:37:06
who continually got his goat.
:37:08
And one day at dawn
with her night shift on...
:37:10
he slit her bloody throat."
:37:14
- Oh, and it gets worse.
- Do you wanna hear a real poem?
:37:16
- Want this?
- All right? No, I don't need it.
You take it.
:37:19
- What, did you bring one?
- You memorized a poem?
:37:21
I didn't memorize a poem.
Move up.
:37:23
- An original piece by Charlie Dalton.
- An original piece.
:37:26
- Take centre stage.
- You know this is history.
:37:28
Right? This is history.
:37:37
- Oh, wow.
- Where did you get that?
:37:40
- Where did you get that?
- Whoa.
:37:42
"Teach me to love?
:37:45
Go teach thyself more wit.
:37:47
l, chief professor, am of it.
:37:50
The god of love,
if such a thing there be...
:37:53
may learn to love from me."
:37:56
Wow! Did you write that?