How to Get Ahead in Advertising
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:23:01
What's "can" got to do with it?
Can, could, might, possibly, maybe.

:23:05
"Does" is the word
we want to hear.

:23:07
The bastards are killing
100.000 a year.

:23:10
Warning by Her Majesty's
government:

:23:12
"This product contains
highly-toxic carcinogenic poisons.

:23:16
"Avoid all contact.
Do not inhale.

:23:19
Should inhalation occur,
seek immediate advice from a physician."

:23:22
I saw Harry yesterday. He said
you had problems with the pimple cream.

:23:27
Did he?
Well. He's wrong.

:23:29
Because I have irradicated
the pimple cream from my life.

:23:32
He also said you lost your temper
with some photographs.

:23:34
That's right.
Closeups of hives.

:23:36
Don't you think the way you reacted
could be considered irrational?

:23:40
Don't start the old irrational
ballocks with me, Bristol!

:23:43
I'm up to here with it.
I know everything about rationality,

:23:47
and I know everything there is
to know about advertising.

:23:50
- Hold them, Sheila.
- So don't tell me I'm being irrational.

:23:53
Because I'm the one who's take
the stench out of everything but shit.

:23:59
Okay, old chap, why don't
you take some time off?

:24:02
What the fuck do you think
I'm resigning for?

:24:05
I'm taking forever off.
I'm going to cleanse my life.

:24:08
I'm going to rid my mind
and body of poisons.

:24:11
And when I've done it,
I intend to encourage others to do it.

:24:15
- And how will you do that?
- By telling them. You bald fool.

:24:18
- Walking with a sandwich board?
- If necessary.

:24:21
- Advertising, dear boy.
- How dare you!

:24:24
How...
:24:27
- What's the matter, Bagley?
- I've got a boil.

:24:30
A big boil.
I believe it's justice.

:24:33
The poison crimping
my miserable system.

:24:38
Fifteen years ago, I was out there
on the floor where you are now,

:24:41
and I was very like you, Bagley.
:24:43
I was the best.
:24:45
But I got myself into some
trouble with a gas-fired heating system.

:24:49
I tell you, I was desperate.
I made myself ill with worry.

:24:52
I finally ended up with a specialist
who told me I'd given myself an ulcer.

:24:56
It was a lot more
than that to me.

:24:58
As far as I was concerned,
I'd given myself a detonator.


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