Billy Madison
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:36:02
I swear, I'm sick. I can't go to school.
:36:04
If you're gonna stay home today,
you could help me shave my armpits.

:36:09
Oh, my God! I'll go to school.
:36:15
O'Doyle rules!
:36:24
- What's goin' on?
- Miss Vaughn's sick.

:36:31
(teacher claps )
:36:33
Please take your seats.
:36:37
- Who's that guy?
- Principal Anderson.

:36:43
As you can tell, Miss Vaughn is not feeling
well today, so I'll be taking her place.

:36:49
But don't get your hopes up,
because I plan on teaching,...

:36:52
..so I hope you plan on learning.
:36:55
Now, who can tell me where we are
in our social-studies reader?

:37:00
Yes?
:37:02
Michael?
:37:05
Excuse me. What's that in your hand?
:37:09
Bring that note up to me.
:37:12
(class ) Ooh.
:37:18
Now let's see what couldn't wait
till after class.

:37:27
''We're so lucky to have
Principal Anderson substituting.''

:37:33
''Now we have the privilege of staring
at that tub of lard all day long''?

:37:39
''If I were him, I would walk my fat ass
right into oncoming traffic.''

:37:48
Oh, man, Billy,
I just thought of the funniest thing.

:37:52
Billy?
:37:55
- Where's Billy?
- He's in school, man.

:37:59
Oh, yeah.

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