:00:00
And action.
:00:13
Ladies and gentlemen,
young and old...
:00:16
this may seem
an unusual procedure...
:00:19
speaking to you
before the picture begins...
:00:21
but we have
an unusual subject.
:00:23
Turn.
:00:28
When I say that this is the most important
motion picture you will ever attend...
:00:32
my motivation
is not financial gain...
:00:35
but a firm belief that the delicate fabric
that holds all of us together...
:00:40
will be ripped apart unless every man,
woman and child in this country...
:00:45
sees this film
and pays full ticket price...
:00:48
not some bargain matinee,
cut-rate deal.
:00:51
Turn.
:00:57
In the event that you find
certain sequences or ideas confusing...
:01:01
please bear in mind that this
is your fault, not ours.
:01:05
You will need to see the picture again
and again until you understand everything.
:01:10
Turn.
:01:15
In closing,
I want to assure you...
:01:17
that no expense
was incurred...
:01:21
bringing this motion picture
to your theater.
:01:23
And now,
filmed in its entirety...
:01:27
and proven to heal
minor cuts and abrasions...
:01:30
we proudly present Schizopolis.!
:01:48
His best-seller, Here I Am Now...
:01:51
helped you find yourself.
:01:53
His groundbreaking sequel,
How To Control Your Own Mind...
:01:56
taught you how to think.
:01:58
Now T.Azimuth Schwitters, author of the
earth-shattering manifesto Eventualism...