Nil by Mouth
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:16:00
So me and him have been out for
two or three days. Been a bit naughty.

:16:06
We're out on this fucking bender,
and we pull these two Richards.

:16:10
Right fucking sorts, they was.
Weren't they?

:16:13
-We're having everything with them.
-All tackled up. Fucking tackled up.

:16:18
We're having two's-ups and
chop-overs with them.

:16:22
They're at it together. I still have
a wank on the strength of that.

:16:25
So we're sitting there,
and I'm taking these pills, right?

:16:29
I've got these pills. I was diagnosed
with depression. This was years ago.

:16:34
And these pills, right,
have got a fucking side effect.

:16:38
No one knows over here, right?
The Americans know, right?

:16:42
We're like the fucking guinea pigs.
We're dropping like fucking flies.

:16:47
So all of a sudden, I'm sitting there,
and you know what?

:16:50
Know what they reckon now?
That these pills make you violent.

:16:54
-You? You're not violent.
-Not proper violent.

:16:56
No, like weird shit,
like killing your mother.

:16:59
Wanna kill my mother-in-law for me?
:17:01
Yeah, fucking she needs it.
:17:03
And guess what they called them.
Everyone called them the "happy pill."

:17:07
I mean, that's a fucking joke.
Happy pill? They was like cunts.

:17:11
You couldn't piss, shit or come.
Fucking happy pill?

:17:14
They could've fucking stuck them up
their asses, as far as I was concerned.

:17:21
I used to give them to my cellmate
when I was banged up in the Scrubs.

:17:26
-Remember that Brian?
-Fat cunt.

:17:28
This geezer had the biggest
head you've ever seen.

:17:30
It was like an armchair. Like someone
had picked up a medicine ball...

:17:35
...and stuck it on his fucking
shoulders, right?

:17:38
So we're at Micky Tyne's house, right?
Now, we are bang on it, right?

:17:44
We're taking everything. We're taking
uppers, downers, sidewinders...

:17:48
...reddies, greenies, blueys,
greenies, Auntie fucking Jeanies.

:17:51
They're like Smarties, they're going
down, and we're out of it.

:17:55
All of a sudden, I get these pains
right across my chest.

:17:58
-Braces were too tight.
-Yeah.


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