1:31:00
All right.
1:31:01
I can't believe
my luck here.
1:31:02
Don't hurt yourself
getting over there.
1:31:04
I won't.
1:31:05
All right,
hold on a second.
1:31:06
Let me get
my cans on.
1:31:09
OK.
1:31:10
Ooh, you know what?
You know... Oh, man.
1:31:12
Let me soak you in.
1:31:13
Holy cow,
are you naked.
1:31:14
You know what I like
about you?
1:31:15
What?
1:31:16
I like that you're
the perfect height.
1:31:17
I could have sex
with you standing up.
1:31:18
Look at that. Ooh.
1:31:20
Robin:
Howard! You're married.
1:31:23
I am? I mean, I am.
1:31:24
Well, I'm not really
married anymore.
1:31:26
What do you mean?
1:31:27
Take a seat. I'll
Tell you what happened.
1:31:28
My wife was suffering from cancer...
I never told you this...
1:31:30
and she died last night.
1:31:31
I've been single
for exactly 6 hours.
1:31:33
Honey, if you're
up there now,
1:31:35
I know you can hear me,
and you're at God's side,
1:31:37
but I want you to cover
your ears and eyes.
1:31:39
Besides, you're married
to God now...
1:31:41
Your husband's
quite a character.
1:31:43
Only on the radio.
It's just an act.
1:31:46
Oh, oh, that's nice. No one's ever
touched me like this before.
1:31:49
Let me ask you
something.
1:31:50
You have the look
of love in your eyes,
1:31:52
but I'm an ugly man.
I know this.
1:31:54
You couldn't be physically
attracted to me, could you?
1:31:56
Physically, I am.
1:31:57
I mean, you're smart,
you're sexy.
1:32:00
Wait. Excuse me
for one minute. Robin...
1:32:02
I didn't say a thing.
1:32:03
Robin, go up to the cafeteria
and get some lunch.
1:32:06
Yeah, go ahead.
Tell me more about me.
1:32:07
You're funny.
1:32:09
You know what I would
do to you physically?
1:32:11
What would you do?
1:32:13
I don't know what I'd do,
but let me just say something.
1:32:15
Whatever it is,
it would last 3 seconds.
1:32:17
3 seconds,
I'd be finished.
1:32:18
We would have sex, like,
10 times a day. You would love it.
1:32:21
I kind of want to
wrap my legs around you.
1:32:24
You do?
1:32:28
The average radio listener
listens for 18 minutes.
1:32:31
Mm-hmm.
1:32:32
The average Howard Stern fan
listens for...
1:32:34
are you ready for this?
1:32:35
An hour and 20 minutes.
1:32:37
How can that be?
1:32:38
Answer
most commonly given:
1:32:40
"I want to see
what he'll say next."
1:32:42
All right, OK, fine.
1:32:44
But what about the people
who hate Stern?
1:32:46
Good point.
The average Stern hater...
1:32:48
listens for
21/2 hours a day.
1:32:54
Look, but if they hate him,
1:32:56
why do they listen?
1:32:57
Most common answer:
1:32:58
"I want to see
what he'll say next."