1:30:00
There is nothing that you know
about your father that I don't know.
1:30:03
Nothing.
1:30:06
And understand better.
1:30:09
Okay?
1:30:12
You make concessions
when you're married a long time...
1:30:15
that you don't believe you'll make
when you're beginning.
1:30:19
When you're young, you say,
"Oh, I'll never tolerate...
1:30:22
this or that or the other thing.,,
1:30:24
But time goes by, darling.
1:30:26
And when you've slept together
a thousand nights...
1:30:29
and you've smelled like spit-up
from the babies when they're sick...
1:30:32
and you've seen your body
droop and get soft...
1:30:35
and some nights you just think,
"Oh, God, I'm not gonna put up
with it another minute".
1:30:39
But you wake up
in the next morning...
1:30:41
and the kitchen smells
like coffee...
1:30:43
and the kids have their hair brushed
all by themselves...
1:30:46
and you look at your husband,
and no...
1:30:48
he's not the person
you thought he was.
1:30:53
But he's your life.
1:30:54
And the kids and the house
and everything that you do
is built around him.
1:31:00
And that's your life.
That's your history too.
1:31:02
And if you take him out,
that's like cutting his face
out of all the pictures.
1:31:06
lt just makes a big hole
and it ruins everything.
1:31:11
You can be hard, Ellen.
1:31:15
And you can be very judgmental.
1:31:17
And with those two things alone
you're gonna make such a mess
out of your life...
1:31:20
you wouldn't believe,
and I wanna be able to tell you
these things in ten years.
1:31:23
And when I think how most of what you
learned so far came from your dad...
1:31:27
- it just hurts my heart
to think how little...
- No. No.
1:31:31
- I have gotten done.
- Mom, don't, um...
1:31:33
- Yes, yes.
- Just, let's not talk
about that. Can we...
1:31:35
I wanna talk. You let me talk.
Now, look. Let me talk.
1:31:38
You're dad won't let me talk
because he says I'll upset myself.
1:31:41
And you won't let me talk.
"Oh, Mom, please don't talk".
1:31:43
Brian's the only one that let's me talk.
He's never here.
1:31:45
I wanna talk before I die.
1:31:47
I do. I wanna be able
to say the things...
1:31:50
- I wanna say the deep thoughts...
without you shushing me...
- Okay. Okay. What?
1:31:53
- because what I say hurts you.
- Oh, Mom.
1:31:57
Tired of being shushed.
1:31:59
What do you wanna say?