1:31:00
And that's your life.
That's your history too.
1:31:02
And if you take him out,
that's like cutting his face
out of all the pictures.
1:31:06
lt just makes a big hole
and it ruins everything.
1:31:11
You can be hard, Ellen.
1:31:15
And you can be very judgmental.
1:31:17
And with those two things alone
you're gonna make such a mess
out of your life...
1:31:20
you wouldn't believe,
and I wanna be able to tell you
these things in ten years.
1:31:23
And when I think how most of what you
learned so far came from your dad...
1:31:27
- it just hurts my heart
to think how little...
- No. No.
1:31:31
- I have gotten done.
- Mom, don't, um...
1:31:33
- Yes, yes.
- Just, let's not talk
about that. Can we...
1:31:35
I wanna talk. You let me talk.
Now, look. Let me talk.
1:31:38
You're dad won't let me talk
because he says I'll upset myself.
1:31:41
And you won't let me talk.
"Oh, Mom, please don't talk".
1:31:43
Brian's the only one that let's me talk.
He's never here.
1:31:45
I wanna talk before I die.
1:31:47
I do. I wanna be able
to say the things...
1:31:50
- I wanna say the deep thoughts...
without you shushing me...
- Okay. Okay. What?
1:31:53
- because what I say hurts you.
- Oh, Mom.
1:31:57
Tired of being shushed.
1:31:59
What do you wanna say?
1:32:04
I already said everything
I wanna say.
1:32:08
Except I'm sad.
1:32:15
- Why?
- I'm sad that I won't be able
to plan your wedding.
1:32:19
So promise me that you won't have
a ring bearer...
1:32:21
or a flower girl, because those kids
always just misbehave...
1:32:24
and then they distract
from the bride.
1:32:28
And don't invite too many people.
1:32:31
- Well, you know, I might not
even get married, so...
- Whatever.
1:32:37
If I knew that you would be happy,
I would close my eyes now.
1:32:41
I would.
1:32:43
It's so much easier
to be happy, my love.
1:32:46
It's so much easier
to choose to love...
1:32:49
the things that you have.
1:32:52
And you have so much...
1:32:54
instead of always yearning
for what you're missing...
1:32:57
or what it is that
you're imagining you're missing.