American Pie
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:37:02
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.

:37:04
Jim, I want to talk
about masturbation.

:37:09
Now, I just want you to know that
it's-it's a perfectly normal, uh, thing.

:37:13
And I have
to admit, uh, you know.

:37:15
I did a fair bit of masturbating
when I was a little younger.

:37:20
- I, uh-- I used to call it
"stroking the salami." - [ Groans ]

:37:24
Yeah, you know,
"pounding the ol' pud."

:37:27
I never did it
with baked goods.

:37:30
But you know your Uncle Mort ?
He "pinched the one-eyed snake" five, six times a day.

:37:34
See, it's like, uh,
practice for the big game.

:37:38
You see ?
It's like-- It's like...

:37:42
banging a tennis ball
against a brick wall.

:37:45
Which can be fun.
It can be fun, but it's not a game.

:37:49
- Right. No.
- It's not a game.

:37:51
What you want is you want
a partner to return the ball.

:37:55
- Do you want a partner ?
- Yeah. Yeah-Yeah, I want a partner.

:37:59
- You do want a partner ?
- Oh, I want a partner.

:38:01
- Want a partner. Good. Good.
- Of course.

:38:05
Good.
:38:07
So, once Hal becomes king,
he has to take on...

:38:11
the responsibilities of leadership
and turn his back...

:38:14
on his old,
drunken friend, Falstaff.

:38:16
You see, Hal is going through a...
rite of passage, much like you all are.

:38:21
So make most of the time you've got
left together. You'll miss it later.

:38:25
- [ Teacher Continues ]
- So, does your tongue cramp up ?

:38:27
- Nah. You get kind of dizzy, though.
- Wow.

:38:32
That's amazing. She's probably
gonna want to do it soon.

:38:37
- [ Bell Rings ]
- All right. Class dismissed.

:38:43
Still questing after the Holy Grail,
huh, guys ?

:38:51
Hey, uh,
where's Finch ?

:38:53
- Oh, he went home to take a shit.
- [ Chuckles ]

:38:55
I don't get it.
I just don't.

:38:58
How does a guy like that
get this sudden reputation ?


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