Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo
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:58:02
Ow-w-w!
:58:06
Is this normal?
My face is numb.

:58:09
It's perfectly normal
in hair replacement surgery.

:58:12
The local anesthetic has numbed
the major nerves in your face,

:58:15
Just like at the dentist.
:58:17
-[Pounding]
- Ow-w-w-w!

:58:21
You're Kate's best friends, and I know
your opinions mean a lot to her.

:58:25
And... I'd like to get
really serious with her.

:58:29
- You're a prostitute!
- Not anymore.

:58:32
And it's "man-whore".
:58:34
Anyway, I just quit.
I mean, Kate's the one for me.

:58:38
Listen, you were only supposed to
go out with her one night,

:58:40
show her a good time, and then
get the hell out of her life.

:58:42
- You know she's not normal.
- She's not like other girls.

:58:45
You know what her problem is?
Friends like you.

:58:49
She's perfect.
She's kind,

:58:51
she's sweet, she's funny,
and she likes me.

:58:55
Now I came here
to give you your money back--

:58:57
the money you paid a stranger
to have sex with your friend.

:59:03
Hey! You stay away
from her, man-whore!

:59:06
Hiya, Deuce. Your three days
are up, lover boy.

:59:10
- So where's Antoine's black book?
- I've looked everywhere.

:59:13
Listen, punk, you are aiding
and abetting a known criminal.

:59:17
Do the initials T and J mean
anything to you?

:59:19
Uh, turkey jizz?
I don't--

:59:21
You better show some respect, or I'm
gonna rip that pleasure-giving
tongue out of your head!

:59:26
- [Zipper Unzips]
- One more thing.

:59:28
I was at the precinct, and I
really had to use the john,

:59:31
and it's pretty filthy in there
and I was in kind of a hurry...

:59:33
and I didn't have time to use one of
those, you know, paper ass gaskets.

:59:37
I was doin' my business, and something
sort of splashed up on me, all over.

:59:40
What do you do in situations like that?
You think I'll be all right?

:59:44
- I think you're pretty safe.
- I better be!

:59:53
- % [Funk]
-[TJ.] Ugly is not
a problem for this guy.

:59:56
My man would stick his dick
in a he-monkey.

:59:58
All right.
I'll catch you later.


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