:36:00
But Ebert over here don't give
a shit about that kind of thing...
:36:04
because he's like in love
with this John Hughes guy.
:36:07
He goes out and rents
every one of his movies.
:36:09
Fuckin´ Breakfast Club, where stupid
kids actually show up for detention.
:36:15
Fuckin´ WeirdScience, where this babe
wants to undress and get down...
:36:19
but, oh, no, she don't,
because it's a PG movie.
:36:23
And then Prettyin Pink, which I can't
watch with this tubby bitch anymore...
:36:28
because when the redhead hooks up
with her dream guy...
:36:32
he starts sobbin´ like a little bitch
with a skinned knee and shit.
:36:37
And there's nothing worse
than watchin´ a fuckin´ fat man weep.
:36:41
What exactly brought you
to Illinois?
:36:43
All these movies take place in this
small town called Shermer, Illinois...
:36:48
where all the honeys are top-shelf
but all the dudes are whiny pussies.
:36:53
Except for Judd Nelson.
He was fuckin´ harsh.
:36:57
But best of all...
:36:58
there was no one dealin´, man.
:37:01
Then it hits me.
We could live like phat rats...
:37:04
if we were the blunt connection
in Shermer, Illinois.
:37:07
So we collected some money
we were owed and caught a bus.
:37:11
But you know what the fuck
we found out when we got there?
:37:14
There is no Shermer, Illinois.
:37:18
Movies are fuckin´ bullshit.
:37:20
- When are you going back to NewJersey?
- This broad asks a lot ofquestions.
:37:25
- Tomorrow.
- Tomorrow.
:37:29
Yeah. So you do anal?
:37:31
Is it true that chicks fart
if you blast them in the ass?
:37:35
I didn't ask you out for sex.
:37:37
I'll take head.
:37:42
This is gonna sound really bad. I can't
believe I'm even thinking about this.
:37:50
I think I should go with you.
:37:52
Like steady?
You wanna be my girlfriend?
:37:57
All right, but Silent Bob gets
to live with us and you pay the rent.