:06:01
Turns around, runs like hell.
Bolts. Adios.
:06:06
Plows down the aisle,
knocking old ladies out of her way...
:06:09
Like the Running of the Bulls
in Pamplona.
:06:12
And guess what!
She's got the next victim all lined up.
:06:15
She's turning another body
on the spit.
:06:19
[Ike]
Okay, Italics, here we go.
:06:26
[Ike's Voice] Today is
a day of profound introspection.
:06:31
I have been accused
of using this column...
:06:35
to direct bitter diatribes
at the opposite sex.
:06:40
This uncomfortable accusation...
:06:43
has plunged me into at least 15 minutes
of serious reflection,
:06:49
from which I have emerged...
:06:51
with the conclusion that, yes,
I traffic in female stereotypes.
:07:00
"But how can one blame me when
every time I step out my front door,
:07:04
I meet fresh proof that the female
archetypes are alive and well."
:07:09
"The mother, the virgin,
the whore, the crone."
:07:14
"They're elbowing you in the subway,
stealing your cabs,
:07:17
and overwhelming you
with perfume in elevators."
:07:21
"But perhaps in fairness
to the fairer sex,
:07:23
I do need to broaden my horizon and add
some new goddesses to the pantheon."
:07:28
"I would like to nominate
for deity the cheerleader, the coed...
:07:33
and the man-eater, the last
of which concerns me most today."
:07:37
"In ancient Greece, this fearsome female
was known as Erinys,
:07:41
the devouring death goddess."
:07:43
"In India, she is Kali,
:07:45
who likes to devour
her boyfriend Shiva's entrails..."
:07:48
"while her yoni devours
his dot, dot, dot... never mind."
:07:52
"In Indonesia, the bloody-jawed man-eater
is called Ragma."
:07:58
You notice these are
all countries without cable.