:05:02
The brush-off.
:05:06
I've witnessed far more...
:05:09
treacherous and nefarious exits
than that.
:05:14
At least she castigated you
in private.
:05:17
Not as private as I thought.
Kevin, you got some napkins there?
:05:21
- Wiping or writing?
- I'll let you know.
:05:26
They love you.
They hate you.
:05:30
They're hot.
They're cold. They're high.
:05:33
They're up. They're down.
:05:35
This is fun making a list with you,
but I do have a column to write.
:05:40
Ike.
:05:42
But you have yet to find
a really superb idea.
:05:47
There's a girl from my hometown
that you could write about.
:05:51
Excuse me,
but we don't need any ideas.
:05:53
She likes to dump grooms at the altar.
They call her the "Runaway Bride."
:05:58
She's performed the travesty
seven or eight times.
:06:01
Turns around, runs like hell.
Bolts. Adios.
:06:06
Plows down the aisle,
knocking old ladies out of her way...
:06:09
Like the Running of the Bulls
in Pamplona.
:06:12
And guess what!
She's got the next victim all lined up.
:06:15
She's turning another body
on the spit.
:06:19
[Ike]
Okay, Italics, here we go.
:06:26
[Ike's Voice] Today is
a day of profound introspection.
:06:31
I have been accused
of using this column...
:06:35
to direct bitter diatribes
at the opposite sex.
:06:40
This uncomfortable accusation...
:06:43
has plunged me into at least 15 minutes
of serious reflection,
:06:49
from which I have emerged...
:06:51
with the conclusion that, yes,
I traffic in female stereotypes.