:09:02
Women look at you and know
what they're getting.
:09:04
I, on the other hand,
am an East Village enigma.
:09:07
I secrete mystery.
:09:09
Women dig mystery.
:09:11
-That combined with the pheromones.
-The what?
:09:13
The pheromones.
:09:15
The electricity I give off to
send the chicks climbing the walls.
:09:18
They see me,
:09:20
they smell me,
:09:21
they fuck me.
:09:24
Yeah.
:09:25
Okay, guy.
:09:27
-So, which one did you choose?
-Fuck that, I took them both.
:09:34
-You got both chicks to your crib?
-Damn straight.
:09:38
These girls were fucking pros.
:09:41
They did shit I didn't
even know existed.
:09:46
Like what?
:09:47
You ever hear of an inverted,
:09:50
double teabag slide?
:09:53
No way.
:09:55
The sex was amazing.
It was like a gift from God.
:09:58
Are you writing this shit down?
:10:00
This should be your next screenplay.
:10:03
How many times did you bone?
:10:04
A box worth.
:10:05
Three times?
:10:07
You know I only buy twelve-packs.
:10:10
-These chicks sound perfect.
-Not exactly perfect.
:10:15
The next morning,
:10:17
they stole my TV.
:10:19
-They what?
-They fucking stole my set.
:10:20
Do you think that was
their intention from the start?
:10:23
-Definitely.
-Im sure of it.
:10:25
I bet they double team
so they can carry out more shit.
:10:28
Its an ingenious operation,
if you think about it.
:10:31
Don't you feel like they fucked you,
they got the better of you?
:10:34
They fucked me all right,
in a way Ill never forget.
:10:37
It was worth a TV. They come back,
Ill throw them the toaster.
:10:42
This is some fucked up shit.
:10:43
Both you guys are crazy.
That never happens to me.
:10:47
That's 'cause nothing
ever happens to you.
:10:49
Yeah, what, did you score?
:10:51
Or did you spend another
weekend tugging root?
:10:53
Fuck you, man. I had multiple
ladies on my tip.
:10:58
Multiple, my ass.
:10:59
Better your ass than Brad's.