:02:05
Did he hurt you, baby?
:02:11
People like that security guard
don't really mean what they say.
:02:14
They just got their own issues.
:02:17
All's I got to do is keep
being a good person.
:02:19
No matter what,
good things'll come my way.
:02:22
Everything will happen for me, as long
as I never have "no" in my heart.
:02:27
Can't a guy even take a dump
in peace? Psycho.
:02:31
- Fucking cocksucker.
- Right on.
:02:33
Things are going to happen for me.
:02:36
I'm Joe Dirt!
:02:42
I'm going to the restroom
to take a big Joe.
:02:45
Don't forget to wipe your dirt.
:02:49
You boys got something to say?
:02:51
Why don't you talk in the microphone?
I got a backup mike right here.
:02:55
Check, one, two. Testing, testing.
:02:57
They both work and they don't
like no feedback. What's up?
:03:05
What's going on? Keep it down.
:03:07
Zander Kelly's on the air.
What's the deal with your haircut?
:03:12
I'm sorry about the noise, sir.
This ain't no haircut. This is a wig.
:03:16
A wig... Look at you.
:03:18
Jesus!
:03:20
I got somebody I want you to meet.
Come with me.
:03:23
Come on back.
:03:26
Yeah, that's what I thought.
This is Zander Kelly.
:03:30
You're listening to 98.6, KXLA.
:03:31
All-aberration radio, all the time.
:03:34
Zander. You got to see this guy.
:03:36
God almighty! Manna from
inbred heaven. Hey, freak-boy.
:03:40
1976 called.
It wants its hairstyle back.
:03:43
Zander, get this: This is a wig.
:03:45
What are you wearing a wig for? You
doing stunt work for Billy Ray Cyrus?
:03:50
Freddy, go get "Free Bird"- boy here
an all-access laminate...
:03:53
...for the show in perpetuity. I'm
wringing this chamois as long as I can.
:03:56
You are exquisitely pathetic.
What's your name, pal?