:34:01
I lay awake that
night wondering which was worse:
:34:05
Guys like Ray who blinded you
with charms and promises,
:34:11
or the Eddies of the world
who went right for your pants.
:34:14
Oh. Excuse me.
:34:17
And in the end,
it didn't matter.
:34:19
The truth was, they were all
cast from the same mold.
:34:23
- But the question remained.
-
:34:27
Why?
:34:29
And then
one day by the river,
:34:31
I found my answer.
:34:34
Holy shit!
:34:40
I told them dumb asses
it'd never work.
:34:43
You can't fool a bull, mister.
No, sir.
:34:46
He knows where he's been,
and he ain't goin' back.
:34:49
Hell, I got...
I got 93 cows.
:34:51
Only one of 'em got nads.
:34:53
Why? 'Cause that one son of a bitch
alone can knock up an entire herd.
:34:58
But once he's done,
well, the party's over.
:35:02
I gotta go over to Ed
Hickey's place down the road...
:35:05
and trade him for a new one...
:35:06
'cause there ain't
a chance in hell...
:35:08
he's ever gonna touch
any of them cows again, no, sir.
:35:11
- I figured it out. I'm the old cow.
- I don't get it.
:35:16
Remember a couple weeks ago when we were
laughing at that graffiti on the subway?
:35:20
- " Baby, I love the toilet you sit on"?
- No.
:35:22
"I'm tired of banging
the same woman every night. "
:35:24
We thought there might
actually be something to that,
:35:26
- like it could be a window into their dark...
- Schizophrenic behavior.
:35:29
Well, it is.
The new cow theory...
:35:31
and "I'm tired of banging
the same woman every night,"
:35:33
same thing.
:35:35
This is why
men can't commit.
:35:37
Sooner or later,
we all become old cows.
:35:40
We're identified
as already serviced,
:35:42
so they wanna move on
and find less familiar females.
:35:45
- The whole novelty thing, you mean.
- Neophilia, to be precise.
:35:49
- What do you think?
- What do I think? I think...
:35:52
it's always about you,
that's what I think.
:35:55
You fall for some guy, and it's like
men are worthy of heroic worship.
:35:59
You get dumped and suddenly they're
shit-sucking, commitment-phobic assholes.