Bubba Ho-tep
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:46:01
A mummy can't be getting
too much energy from all this...

:46:04
not like with big souls...
but the prey is easy.

:46:09
With new people comin' all the time, he can
keep this up forever... this soul robbin'.

:46:13
That's what they
brought us here for...

:46:15
to get us out of the way
until we die.

:46:17
And those who don't die first from
disease or just plain being old, he gets.

:46:23
Look, that's all well and good, Jack,
but there's one thing that still throws me.

:46:28
How does an ancient Egyptian
wind up in an East Texas rest home,

:46:32
and why is he writin'
on the shit house walls, man?

:46:35
Well, he went in to take a crap,
:46:38
got bored,
started writing on the walls.

:46:41
He probably wrote
on pyramid walls centuries ago.

:46:44
Come on. What would he crap?
It's not like he'd eat.

:46:47
Well, he eats souls.
:46:49
So, I assume
that he would crap soul residue.

:46:53
By that, I would mean
that if you die from his mouth,

:46:57
you don't go to the other side
where the souls go.

:46:59
He digests souls
until they don't exist anymore.

:47:04
And you're just so much
toilet water decoration.

:47:08
And speaking of toilets...
:47:11
This is how I figured
that whole thing out.

:47:15
He's just like anybody else
when it comes to taking a dump.

:47:18
He wants a nice,
clean place with a flush.

:47:20
They didn't have that in his time.
:47:45
No, no.
Don't go out in the hall.

:47:47
- That's all right. I'm not asleep.
- That don't mean he won't hurt you.

:47:51
"He" my ass. There isn't
any mummy from Egypt.

:47:58
Nice knowin' you, Elvis.

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