:36:00
from destroying our muscle tone
and leaving us with these...
:36:04
defeated saggy male boobies!
:36:11
But l am at peace. l have come to grips
with the whore that has become me.
:36:18
So how does ''Moist & Midget''
magazine improve your image?
:36:22
Because men are gross
on the inside too.
:36:25
That 's why these magazines sell.
:36:27
A woman's pussy mount
is aslippery slope.
:36:29
Sex is a narcotic and you, my friend,
are addicted just like me.
:36:34
0nly you're at the smoking
marijuanastage...
:36:37
...l'm at the heroin stage.
- More like the speed balling stage.
:36:41
Good one. Now, my point is...
:36:43
an addict needs a bigger and bigger fix
each time just to get the same high!
:36:48
That 's why they move on
to the hard stuff.
:36:50
Now sex is the same way.
:36:52
You need something kinkier and kinkier
to get the same thrill in your drill!
:36:56
0kay, so hence
''America's Harriest'' magazine?
:36:59
No, l don't know if ''America's
Harriest'' is gonna get me donkey dick.
:37:04
But, almost doner for a boner, and
these magazines are somebody's fix.
:37:08
They might give me a pecker high,
they might not.
:37:10
You are so far off
you're not even wrong!
:37:12
- lt 's so much better with awoman.
- Don't fool yourself.
:37:15
The straight screw
is the methadone of sex.
:37:18
lt 'll keep you from the hard stuff
for awhile, but sooner or later...
:37:22
you will roll off your old lady...
:37:25
just like an addict
falls off the wagon.
:37:29
Accept it, Sam. You and l are alike.
:37:32
Your weirdness is one step away
from my grossness.
:37:36
And look, you enrolled on an Art School
so you could see naked women.
:37:40
That is no different than me
looking at dirty pictures.
:37:43
lt 's completely different.
:37:45
0ne is art, the other is pornography!
:37:48
Yes, but once you start
down the dark path...
:37:52
forever will it dominatrix
your destiny!
:37:55
Join me.
:37:58
l'll never join you!