:48:02
Show them damn farmers market and
sit through the pain- in- the- ass opera.
:48:05
- Shut up, Jason! Shut up!
- No, Jason's right.
:48:07
Jason's a meathead, but he's right.
:48:10
Now listen, Sam. l did all kinds of
these things because a guy's balls...
:48:15
are the biggest reservoir of hope
this world has ever seen!
:48:19
You know, trying to get laid by fixing
her fan belt is your fault, yours!
:48:23
Sam, you're so full of man gravy!
:48:27
Listen, you need to be more like me
and take matters into your own hands.
:48:31
Why do you think
they call it ''masturbate''?
:48:32
Because it allows you to be
the master of your own fate.
:48:36
And it 's not just a physical release.
:48:38
lt 's a release of women's
control over you! Jason!
:48:42
You don't need them,
they can't manipulate you.
:48:45
l'm doing this for your own good.
Today is your independence day, Sam!
:48:53
...watchingsome amazingstory...
:48:55
that... if... anyone...
:48:58
deservesa...
:49:04
Miraclescanhappenl
:49:13
You're such a...
:49:16
a dick!
:49:18
And so are you.
:49:21
AfterstandingupforTanya,
ldecidedlshouldstandupformyself.
:49:25
Speciallywith the evil
she- dumper,Gretchen.
:49:29
You know what, Gretchen?
lt just occurred to me.
:49:31
You're just like this bike.
:49:33
l'm cool, l'm thirsty.
l'm cool, l'm thirsty.
:49:37
- You're so directionless.
- l don't know what l want to do.
:49:39
0n one hand l could be a graphic
designer, or l could be asinger...
:49:42
or l could be a doctor, or l could be
a pet detective, or l could...
:49:45
And l'm always pumping up your ego
like ''you're very creative''...
:49:50
- l'm creative.
- ...''You're very smart''...
:49:52
- l'm smart.
- ...''You're very sexy''...
:49:54
l'm sexy. l am sexy.
:49:57
You're really on maintenance.