:59:02
Wedgie.
:59:03
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
:59:07
Well, what the hell do you want?
:59:08
Pokémon!
:59:10
Done.
:59:16
You probably shouldn't
be digging in your ass.
:59:20
Santa...
:59:23
Oh, jeez.
:59:29
-Is that your underwear?
-Part of it.
:59:31
Where the hell's the rest of it?
:59:33
No, actually, don't tell me.
What do you want?
:59:36
I was thinking I wanted a purple
stuffed elephant, not pink.
:59:39
But now I changed my mind.
:59:41
-Yeah, what?
-Now I don't want an elephant.
:59:44
I want a gorilla named Davey
:59:46
for beating up the skateboard
kids who pull on my underwear.
:59:48
He could take his orders
from the talking walnut,
:59:51
so it wouldn't be my bad thing.
:59:58
Jesus, kid.
:59:59
When I was your age,
I didn't need no gorilla,
1:00:02
and I wasn't as big
as one of your legs.
1:00:04
Four kids beat me up
and I went crying to my daddy.
1:00:06
-You know what he did?
-He made it all better?
1:00:08
No, he kicked my ass.
You know why?
1:00:11
'Cause you went to the bathroom
on Mommy's dishes?
1:00:14
What the fuck?
1:00:16
No.
1:00:16
He tried to teach you
not to cry and be a man?
1:00:19
No. It's because he was
a mean, drunk son of a bitch.
1:00:23
When he wasn't busting my ass,
1:00:25
he was putting cigarettes out
on my neck.
1:00:27
The world ain't fair.
1:00:28
You gotta take what you need
when you can get it.
1:00:31
Learn to stand up for yourself.
Quit being a pussy.
1:00:34
Kick these kids
in the balls or something.
1:00:38
Or don't.
Shit, I don't care.
1:00:40
Just leave me out of it.
Now, get on out of here.
1:00:42
Okay.
Thanks, Santa.
1:00:59
Go get the next lucky boy
or girl, okay?