:35:02
Then we had to have the big talk this year.
:35:05
I was on the road. My wife called and said,
"You need to have a talk with your son."
:35:10
Guess he's in trouble.
:35:12
She goes, "His friends taught him to go on
the lnternet, and he brought up a sex site."
:35:16
And I said, "Oh, God."
:35:19
I said, "Baby...
:35:21
...did you write down
the name of the site?
:35:26
Just for reference."
:35:28
She goes, "Shut up."
:35:31
I wanted my talk to be more informative
with my son than my dad and l's was.
:35:35
I said, "Dad, when will you
tell me about sex? " He goes:
:35:40
"Here, just read this Penthouse Forum."
:35:43
So I wanted my talk
to be a little more informative.
:35:46
I wanted my son to know about things
that could actually happen to him.
:35:55
I'm still waiting on the VW bus full of
cheerleaders, but that hasn't happened yet.
:36:00
But I know kids today are much more
advanced than you and I were.
:36:04
So I said, "Son, I know
you already know a lot of things.
:36:06
So why don't you
tell me what you know...
:36:10
...and I'll just fill in the blank spots."
:36:13
About 30 minutes later...
:36:16
...I'm sitting there with a pen
and a pad of paper.
:36:20
I'm going, "You can do that? "
:36:28
God bless my family. They've been good
to me this year. It's been rough.
:36:31
I've been trying to quit smoking. It'll kill
me quicker than the cigarettes would've.
:36:36
Anybody who's ever tried to quit
knows exactly what I'm talking about.
:36:39
It is the hardest thing
you will ever do in your life.
:36:43
And people who have never smoked
just don't get that.
:36:46
My wife goes, "l don't understand why
you just don't put them down and quit."
:36:50
I go, "Baby, I am trying. It is hard."
:36:52
She goes, "l don't understand why
you just don't quit."
:36:55
I go, "All right.
Why don't you quit yelling?