:34:06
"Dad.
:34:09
Dad.
:34:13
-Dad."
-"What? What? What? "
:34:16
He starts crying.
My wife goes, "You scared him!"
:34:18
I'm like, "Hell, he scared me!
:34:21
Jesus, put a bell around his neck!"
:34:26
And if I ever find out who told
my son this, I will kill him.
:34:29
Apparently, somebody told my son
there's a wiener thief out there.
:34:33
And if he takes his hand off it,
they gonna snatch it away.
:34:38
His hand doesn't leave his pants.
It's like his own little worry stone.
:34:43
He's just:
:34:51
I told him. I said, "Boy, that thing's
got a shelf life. Trust me."
:35:02
Then we had to have the big talk this year.
:35:05
I was on the road. My wife called and said,
"You need to have a talk with your son."
:35:10
Guess he's in trouble.
:35:12
She goes, "His friends taught him to go on
the lnternet, and he brought up a sex site."
:35:16
And I said, "Oh, God."
:35:19
I said, "Baby...
:35:21
...did you write down
the name of the site?
:35:26
Just for reference."
:35:28
She goes, "Shut up."
:35:31
I wanted my talk to be more informative
with my son than my dad and l's was.
:35:35
I said, "Dad, when will you
tell me about sex? " He goes:
:35:40
"Here, just read this Penthouse Forum."
:35:43
So I wanted my talk
to be a little more informative.
:35:46
I wanted my son to know about things
that could actually happen to him.
:35:55
I'm still waiting on the VW bus full of
cheerleaders, but that hasn't happened yet.