1:12:02
I'm not gonna storm out of here,
Catch.
1:12:04
And I'm not gonna admit that you got
Barbara Novak to fall in love.
1:12:09
Because I'm not Barbara Novak.
1:12:11
There is no Barbara Novak.
1:12:14
And I didn't fall in love with Zip Martin.
I fell in love with Catcher Block.
1:12:19
And that was a year ago...
1:12:21
...when for three weeks,
I worked as your secretary.
1:12:23
I don't expect you to remember me.
I wasn't a blond.
1:12:26
But you did ask me out,
and it broke my heart to say no.
1:12:30
But I loved you too much.
1:12:31
I couldn't bear to become
just another notch in your bedpost.
1:12:34
With your dating habits, I knew
that even if I was lucky enough...
1:12:38
...to get a regular spot
on your rotating schedule...
1:12:40
...I would never have your attention long
enough for you to fall in love with me.
1:12:45
I knew I had to do something
to set myself apart.
1:12:48
I knew I had to quit my job
as your secretary...
1:12:51
...and write
an international bestseller...
1:12:54
...controversial enough to get
the attention of a New York publisher...
1:12:58
...as well as "Know" magazine,
but insignificant enough...
1:13:01
...that if I went unseen,
"Know" magazine's star journalist...
1:13:04
...would refuse to do
a cover story about it.
1:13:06
I knew that every time we were to meet,
you would get distracted...
1:13:10
...by one of your girlfriends
and stand me up.
1:13:12
This would give me a reason
to fight with you over the phone...
1:13:15
...and declare that I wouldn't meet
with you for 100 years.
1:13:18
And then all I would have
to do was be patient and wait...
1:13:21
...the two or three weeks it would take
for everyone in the world...
1:13:25
...to buy a copy of my bestseller.
1:13:27
And then I would begin to get the
publicity I would need for you to one:
1:13:30
See what I look like, and two:
1:13:32
See me denounce you in public
as the worst kind of man.
1:13:36
I knew that this would make you want to
get even by writing one of your exposés.
1:13:40
In order to do that, you would have to
go undercover, assume a false identity...
1:13:44
...and pretend to be the man...
1:13:45
...who would make the girl
I was pretending to be fall in love.
1:13:49
I knew that since
I was pretending to be a girl...
1:13:51
...who would have sex
on the first date...
1:13:53
...you'd have to pretend to be a man
who wouldn't have sex.
1:13:56
And in doing so, we would go out
on lots of dates...