:20:02
When l was young and successful,
l was greedy and foolish
:20:06
and now l'm left with no one,
wrinkled and alone.
:20:10
- Wow. Thanks for that, Bill.
- For what?
:20:12
For actually giving
a real answer to a question.
:20:15
lt doesn't often happen here
at Radio Watford, l can tell you.
:20:19
- Ask me anything, l'll tell you the truth.
- Best shag you ever had?
:20:22
- Britney Spears.
- Wow.
:20:25
No, only kidding!
:20:27
- She was rubbish.
- OK, here's one.
:20:30
How do you think the new record
compares to your old, classic stuff?
:20:34
Come on, Mikey, you know as well as l do
the record's crap.
:20:39
But wouldn't it be great
if number one this Christmas
:20:43
wasn't some smug teenager
:20:45
but an old ex-heroin addict
searching for a comeback at any price?
:20:49
Those young popsters come Christmas
will be stretched out naked
:20:53
with a cute bird balancing on their balls
:20:55
and l'll be stuck in some dingy flat
with me manager Joe,
:20:59
ugliest man in the world,
:21:01
fucking miserable because
our fucking gamble didn't pay off.
:21:05
So if you believe in Father Christmas,
children, like your Uncle Billy does,
:21:10
buy my festering turd of a record.
:21:14
And particularly enjoy
the incredible crassness
:21:17
of the moment we try to squeeze
an extra syllable into the fourth line.
:21:21
l think you're referring to
:21:23
''lf you really love Christmas...''
:21:26
''Come on and let it snow.'' Ouch.
:21:29
So, here it is one more time,
:21:31
the dark horse for this year's
Christmas number one,
:21:34
Christmas ls All Around.
Thank you, Billy. After this, the news.
:21:39
ls the new prime minister in trouble already?
:21:47
- OK. What's next?
- The President's visit.
:21:49
Ah, yes, yes. l fear this is going to be
a difficult one to play. Alex.
:21:54
There's a strong feeling in the party
we mustn't allow ourselves to be bullied
:21:59
- like the last government.
- Here, here.