:24:01
- To a fantastic place called Wisconsin.
- No!
:24:05
Yes! Wisconsin babes,
here comes Sir Colin!
:24:08
No, Col! There are a few babes in America,
l grant you,
:24:12
but they're going out
with rich, attractive guys.
:24:15
Tone, you're just jealous.
:24:18
You know perfectly well
that any bar anywhere in America
:24:22
contains ten girls more beautiful
and more likely to have sex with me
:24:26
- than the whole of the United Kingdom.
- That is total bollocks. You're mad.
:24:31
No, l'm wise. Stateside l am Prince William
without the weird family.
:24:36
- No, Colin, no!
- Yes!
:24:38
- Nyet!
- Da!
:24:39
- Nein!
- Ja, darling!
:24:41
Right, the Christmas party,
not my favourite night of the year
:24:44
and your unhappy job to organise.
:24:46
- Tell me.
- lt's basic, really.
:24:49
Find a venue, over-order on the drinks,
bulk buy the guacamole
:24:53
and advise the girls to avoid Kevin
if they want their breasts unfondled.
:24:57
- Wives and family and stuff?
- Yeah. l mean, not children.
:25:01
But their wives and girlfriends, et cetera.
:25:05
Oh, Christ, you haven't got some horrible
six-foot, tight-T-shirt-wearing boyfriend?
:25:10
No. l'll just be hanging around the mistletoe,
hoping to be kissed.
:25:16
Really?
:25:19
Right.
:25:30
He now spends all the time in his room.
l mean, he'll be up there now.
:25:34
- That's not unusual. My horrid son...
- Bernard?
:25:37
Bernard. Stays in his room all the time.
Thank goodness.
:25:42
Yeah, but Karen, this is all the time.
:25:46
l'm afraid that there's something
really wrong, you know?
:25:50
l mean, clearly it's about his mum
:25:52
but Christ, he might be injecting heroin
into his eyeballs for all l know.
:25:57
At the age of 11?
:25:59
Well, maybe not his eyeballs, then.
Maybe just his veins.