1:10:01
"Chris loves sloppy joes!"
1:10:07
Yes, I'm married,
1:10:09
and bored out of my fucking mind.
1:10:12
But it's a beautiful thing, a beautiful thing.
1:10:14
If you're in a good relationship, chances are
you're bored out of your fucking mind.
1:10:20
All good relationships are boring.
1:10:22
The only exciting relationships are bad ones.
1:10:26
You never know what's gonna happen
tomorrow in a bad relationship.
1:10:31
You never know when you're gonna walk in
and go, "Hey, you gave me crabs!"
1:10:37
That's exciting.
1:10:39
I wonder what tomorrow's gonna bring.
1:10:43
And those are the choices you got in life.
1:10:46
You can be married and bored
or single and lonely.
1:10:49
Ain't no happiness nowhere.
1:10:52
Married and bored or single and lonely.
1:10:56
That's right. Marriage is some boring-ass shit.
1:11:00
Once you get married,
you gotta hang around other married people
1:11:03
and that's just disgusting.
1:11:06
You ever go to dinner with six neutered adults?
1:11:11
A bunch of women talking about Diaper Genies
and hair colouring.
1:11:16
"You know, if you leave it in too long it stings."
Shut the fuck up.
1:11:21
A bunch of men talking about barbecue grills
and routes to work.
1:11:26
"Sometimes I take the highway
but if it's backed up, I got some side streets
1:11:31
"that get me there in half the time. Check it out.
1:11:34
"L-95 is clear sometimes..." Shut the fuck up!
1:11:38
I hate married people.
1:11:40
It's fucking disgusting.
1:11:43
If you go to eat dinner with single people,
1:11:46
single people eat for an hour and 30 minutes
and leave,
1:11:50
cos they got fucking to do.
1:11:53
Married people close down a restaurant.
1:11:57
They start ordering coffee and dessert.