1:09:01
Another big reason I don't cheat is cos I never
meet any girls that wanna fuck me.
1:09:06
I'm just not that celebrity.
I don't bring it out of them.
1:09:10
Women see Denzel Washington,
they go, "I'm gonna fuck him."
1:09:15
They start kicking off shoes
soon as they see his ass.
1:09:19
Women see me,
1:09:21
occasionally they wanna fuck me,
1:09:23
but when women wanna fuck me,
they get real practical about it.
1:09:27
They go, "You know what?
I bet you if I fucked Chris Rock,
1:09:30
"I could get him to pay my Visa bill."
1:09:35
I have paid so many college loans in my day.
1:09:39
I have put more girls through school
than the United Negro College Fund.
1:09:48
Shit, I should've had my own dorm at Howard.
1:09:58
"And this is the Chris Rock Cafeteria.
1:10:01
"Chris loves sloppy joes!"
1:10:07
Yes, I'm married,
1:10:09
and bored out of my fucking mind.
1:10:12
But it's a beautiful thing, a beautiful thing.
1:10:14
If you're in a good relationship, chances are
you're bored out of your fucking mind.
1:10:20
All good relationships are boring.
1:10:22
The only exciting relationships are bad ones.
1:10:26
You never know what's gonna happen
tomorrow in a bad relationship.
1:10:31
You never know when you're gonna walk in
and go, "Hey, you gave me crabs!"
1:10:37
That's exciting.
1:10:39
I wonder what tomorrow's gonna bring.
1:10:43
And those are the choices you got in life.
1:10:46
You can be married and bored
or single and lonely.
1:10:49
Ain't no happiness nowhere.
1:10:52
Married and bored or single and lonely.
1:10:56
That's right. Marriage is some boring-ass shit.