1:08:01
Get the fuck outta here.
1:08:06
Shit. Gay people got a right to be as miserable
as everybody else.
1:08:14
Get the fuck outta here. Michael Jackson got
married. How fucking sacred is that shit?
1:08:22
But I'm married. It's a beautiful thing, man.
1:08:26
And I don't cheat.
1:08:29
I don't. No.
1:08:33
Not because I'm a great husband,
1:08:35
just cos I'm tired of getting caught.
1:08:38
Gotta put the girls
in the mistress protection programme.
1:08:43
From now on your name is Carol.
1:08:45
If anybody calls you Lisa, ignore 'em.
1:08:48
OK, Lisa?
"OK."
1:08:49
Bitch, you gonna get us killed!
1:08:53
The fuck is wrong with you?
1:08:55
You won't last five minutes on the streets.
1:08:59
Now I don't cheat, man.
1:09:01
Another big reason I don't cheat is cos I never
meet any girls that wanna fuck me.
1:09:06
I'm just not that celebrity.
I don't bring it out of them.
1:09:10
Women see Denzel Washington,
they go, "I'm gonna fuck him."
1:09:15
They start kicking off shoes
soon as they see his ass.
1:09:19
Women see me,
1:09:21
occasionally they wanna fuck me,
1:09:23
but when women wanna fuck me,
they get real practical about it.
1:09:27
They go, "You know what?
I bet you if I fucked Chris Rock,
1:09:30
"I could get him to pay my Visa bill."
1:09:35
I have paid so many college loans in my day.
1:09:39
I have put more girls through school
than the United Negro College Fund.
1:09:48
Shit, I should've had my own dorm at Howard.
1:09:58
"And this is the Chris Rock Cafeteria.