:00:25
Tired of the same old you?
:00:27
Tired of being out of shape
and out of luck with the opposite sex?
:00:31
Tired of being overweight
and under-attractive?
:00:34
Yeah.
:00:36
Oh, hello.
:00:38
I'm White Goodman, owner, operator
and founder of Globo Gym America Corp.
:00:43
I'm here to tell ya that you don't have
to be stuck with what you've got.
:00:47
Hey, Rory. Looking good.
:00:50
At Globo Gym we that understand "ugliness"
and "fatness" are genetic disorders,
:00:55
much like baldness or necrophilia,
:00:57
and it's only your fault if you don't hate
yourself enough to do something about it.
:01:02
That's where we come in.
:01:05
Globo Gym employs
a highly trained, quasi-cultural staff
:01:08
of personal alteration specialists.
:01:11
With our competitively priced
onsite cosmetic surgery,
:01:14
we can turn that Frankenstein
you see in the mirror every morning
:01:17
into a Franken-fine.
:01:20
Of course, you'll still be you in a legal sense,
:01:22
but think of it as a thinner,
more attractive, better you
:01:25
than you could ever become without us.
:01:27
How do I know?
Well, I'm not only the founder of Globo Gym,
:01:31
I'm also a client.
:01:35
That's me, six years and 600lbs ago,
before I knew how much I hated myself.
:01:40
That all changed once I founded Globo Gym.
:01:43
But don'tjust take my word for it. Listen
to these Globo gymers tell you how it is...
:01:52
That feels good.
:01:55
Oh, the tickle machine.