:21:07
Ûber-American Instructional films,
teaching America's youth since 1938.
:21:19
Hey, there, Timmy.
:21:21
Holy mackerel, mister.
You scared the jeepers out of me.
:21:24
How'd you like to take a break
from that fine lead-based paint,
:21:28
and learn about dodgeball?
:21:29
Boy, would I.
:21:35
- Where am I, mister?
- You're in a Chinese opium den, Timmy.
:21:38
This is where dodgeball
was invented in the 15th century,
:21:42
by opium-addicted Chinamen.
:21:44
Back then, the Chinamen threw
severed human heads at each another
:21:48
instead of the ADAA-approved balls
we use today.
:21:53
ADAA?
:21:54
That's the American Dodgeball
Association of America.
:21:58
Dodgeball is played with six players
on each team, and six rubber balls.
:22:03
The object of the game
is to eliminate the opposing players.
:22:07
Once all the players on one team are
eliminated, the opposing team wins.
:22:11
Wow. I can't wait
to get the fellas together and play.
:22:17
Hang on a second there, sport.
:22:20
- Patches O'Houlihan.
- That's right, Timmy.
:22:23
Patches O'Houlihan. Seven-time ADAA
All-Star is here to take you the rest of the way.
:22:29
- Jeepers. Really?
- You betcha, champ.
:22:33
If you catch a ball that's thrown at you
before it hits the ground,
:22:37
the player who threw that ball is out,
not you.
:22:40
Plus, another player from your team
gets to come back into the game.
:22:45
- It's a two-player swing.
- Thanks, Patches.
:22:48
I can't wait to start my own team at school.
:22:51
Attaboy, Tiger.
:22:53
But remember, dodgeball is a sport
of violence, exclusion and degradation.
:22:59
So, when you're picking players in gym class,