1:15:15
Call Mrs. Himelfarb,
remind her to floss...
1:15:17
...cancel my appointments
for the rest of my life...
1:15:19
...send in as much nitrous as you can,
call the FBI.
1:15:22
- What?
- Call the FBI!
1:15:24
- What's wrong?
- What's wrong? What's wrong?
1:15:28
I'll tell you.
Everything's wrong.
1:15:30
Take a look around you.
Nothing's right.
1:15:32
Cynthia got kidnapped by Hungarian killers.
And instead of calling the FBI...
1:15:37
...or the police,
like every other rational man, I thought:
1:15:40
"Hey, let's try to get in contact with
somebody else that kills a lot of people."
1:15:45
So I went down to Mexico,
which is heavily underdeveloped...
1:15:48
...and I asked him to help me.
Did he?
1:15:50
No, he didn't help me out.
He didn't help me out!
1:15:54
Know what he did?
He put on bunny slippers...
1:15:56
...he shot at me and then
he cooked me some chicken!
1:16:02
I'm gonna be okay.
1:16:04
I'm gonna calm down...
1:16:06
...I'm gonna go downstairs and I'm gonna
take a nice, leisurely drive in my Porsche.
1:16:10
Wait a minute. I can't drive my Porsche,
because I don't have one anymore.
1:16:14
That's gone, that's history,
that's archives!
1:16:17
We left the Porsche so we could get
on a bus and rent some other car.
1:16:21
And you know why?
Because I don't. Do you?
1:16:23
Some kind of GPS,
I don't know, system.
1:16:29
- What's that smell?
- I'll tell you what that smell is. It's me.
1:16:33
I smell. And you know why?
1:16:35
I've been wearing this suit
for three days. I smell like ass.
1:16:39
Or foot. Or some kind of foot...
1:16:41
...that's been lodged up deep, deep, deep
inside an ass. I'll tell you the worst thing:
1:16:46
I woke up naked next to another
naked man who admittedly wets the bed.
1:16:51
So if you talk to anybody
or anybody calls here...
1:16:55
...you tell them I fell down
a flight of stairs.
1:16:58
- Yes, sir.
- Don't "Yes, sir" me!